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decisons decisions...

Sat Jul 11, 2009, 3:24 PM
  • Mood: Daily Needs
So I went to UF two days ago for the second time. Took tours, talked to advisors, etc. etc.

I spent some time today exploring UF and USF's websites for their majors in both the arts and the medical field.

I like medicine. It's interesting and I grew up with it. But I don't like sciences -- at all. In fact, I hate it. Chemistry and biology are pure evil incarnate. But... I think I've been telling myself that I want to go into medicine to make others happy, rather than myself. This has been really hard for me to realize and to tell my parents about, especially my mom. I want to sit down and talk with her on her next day off.

USF has a graphic design program, but it's in St. Pete. No way I'm going all the way over there. My mom suggested that USF would be best because it's closer than UF. But if I go to USF in Tampa, I'll have to stick with medicine because graphic design won't be an option for me to switch to if I change my mind. This means that I'd have to go to UF in Gainesville, where there's medicine and graphic design -- I'll have the choice to switch from one to the other if I want to.

My parents agreed that I could go to UF. They have been wanting to move out of where we're living now (Cape Coral) for ages; they want to live in a big city. They grew up in Cairo and went to universities there -- and Cairo University is absolutely HUGE. Cape Coral is crap compared to Cairo. lol.

So anyway, I've been browsing the graphic design program that UF has to offer. I really really like it, especially the courses that are offered and the opportunities for studio work and work with outside clients. The program site is phenomenal! I looked at some of the work that UF graphic design graduates made -- it's so... just. Wow. I was floored! The work is beautiful, and I can tell that they had fun doing it.

I think that if I have to go through chemistry and biology -- not to mention microbiology and clinical studies -- again, I think I'll go nuts. I don't want my parents to waste their money and me waste my time taking courses that I don't want to take. I won't be happy and my parents won't be happy if I'm unhappy. Not to mention, if I go into medicine and I don't like it but I continue with it anyway and end up being a professional, I won't like my work and life will suck.

And thanks but no thanks, I don't want my life to suck. It already sucks what with this summer work and IB and whatnot. ):

At first, I was thinking of majoring in medicine and minoring in art. So I looked at the minors that UF had to offer for undergraduates. I found that graphic design was not a minor, but a major. The only way I could get into graphic design is if I major in it, which would mean saying goodbye to the medical field. Medicine is too big a field, and it's not offered as a whole minor either. So it's either medicine or graphic design -- they're two separate, different majors. I'd have to pick one or the other.

Let me explain this dilema... It needs an explanation. So here goes.

The reason my mom is encouraging me to go into medicine (not forcing me, mind you) is because she wants me to have a successful future. She doesn't want me to screw up like she did. When she came to the States, she couldn't continue working as a cardiologist and she had to start all over again. She had me and couldn't continue studying and she didn't go to Edison to get her RN license until after my sister was born. Now she's an RN, she's working for Lee Memorial, and she's working on -- or rather, trying really hard -- to study for her boards to become a licensed doctor. She also believes that a career / future in art won't get me anywhere and that's it's really unreliable and unpredictable, as compared to a career in medicine, which pays a much higher amount of money and is more solid and stable and reliable. She thinks that I want to be a painter or a professional drawer or something. Um, no, I won't. I don't want to do that. I want to design things with computers and learn to draw better and use these skills to be a professional designer. Not a painter. I don't like classical arts that much.

That's her reasoning for getting me to go into medicine.

But I agree with her on some aspects. A career in medicine is more stable and solid and whatnot. But the difference between me and her is that she likes science and biology and chemistry and she's really really good at it -- I hate science and I'm only good at it when I study. I don't like reading about cells and proteins and all that stuff. I find science boring while my mom doesn't. She likes working with patients and other medical professionals. I know I'll be working with professionals of some sort when I'm older, but I don't see myself happy working in a hospital or some other medical practice.

After I visited UF, USF, and FSU for the first time and got home, my parents had a massive argument about me majoring in arts vs. me majoring in medicine. I got involved in the argument when I said that I don't like science and I don't think I'd be happy studying it again. I told my mom this and she was really really upset. Not mad, but upset. As in crying. She said that I was breaking her heart by saying that. I really didn't mean it. I apologized and comforted her, saying that I'd give medicine / science a shot.

But now I realize that this isn't my dream, it's my mom's. She's the one who wants to succeed as a medical professional / doctor. Not me.

Ever since I was little, I've been drawing and coloring all all that. I grew up believing that I wanted to be an artist. Then I changed my mind and said I'd be a doctor, just like my mom. But I was too little then, too little to understand what I was getting myself into, apparently.

This time next year, I'm going to be preparing to move away to college. I'm going to have a new home in a university. I need to make my decision now, before I go and realize that I made a huge mistake.

My parents aren't going to be alive forever. My mom isn't going to be working as a doctor for me. She tells me that she isn't forcing me to go into medicine and that she wants me to be happy. But when I tried talking to her before, all hell broke loose. The way I see it, she is forcing me to go into medicine. It's not for an awful reason either -- she wants me to have a future that she doesn't have.

But I don't want to do something I won't like. I won't be happy. I don't care for salaries. I want to have a job I like. I know that if I do something I like, something that I'm really good at, I can make good money -- and be happy all at the same time. Like they say, if you do something you like, you'll never work a day in your life. But the issue is, I don't like upsetting my mom. I love her more than life itself, and she means the world to me. But at the same time, I don't want to have an unhappy career when I'm older. I don't know what to do.

Links:

UF Graphic Design (GD) major details: [link] and [link]
UF GD website: [link]
UF Designers Program site: [link]
List of graduates' websites that exhibit their GD work: [link]

See? See how darn awesome that is? I think I'd have so much fun doing things like that. Much more fun than studying in science classes for medicine.

Sorry for the rant. I just had to... well, let it all out. ._.

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~TomGSilver:iconTomGSilver: 3 days 2 hours ago
long time no say hi.
Whats been up girly?

--
"Tom, Your more of a happy, crazy vampire then anything else." -Teacup
(1 Reply)
*xxxSumeragi:iconxxxSumeragi: Jun 29, 2009, 7:11:13 AM
thanks for the +watch!

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***UNLOCKED
~VaLeRiNaHaci:iconVaLeRiNaHaci: Jun 18, 2009, 4:45:44 AM
thank you so much for the fav!! :heart:

--
"CRAZY TOUR 09" IN EUROPE
Islington - London 16.05.2009
.Thank you.

A dream becames an illusion only when you have ceased to believe in it.
~Tickle-Me-Monkey:iconTickle-Me-Monkey: Jun 16, 2009, 3:14:21 AM
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(1 Reply)
~ieateggs:iconieateggs: Jun 12, 2009, 10:00:26 AM
keke. im not sure if i'll show you. maybe at the end of this comment.
thank you for your welcoming.
<3 I traced it badly.
=__= I have no tablet. Just a mousepad. Sorry if I make it look bad. This is my first try~

it looks really bad in large view
D:
[link]

--
Obessed with Eggs and the Wonder Girls.
(1 Reply)
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